


Invisible

by SoftBubblyVante



Category: bts, 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Best Friends, Death, F/M, M/M, Major character death - Freeform, Multi, Soulmates, Spirits, Suicide, invisible
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-27
Updated: 2020-03-29
Packaged: 2021-03-01 00:28:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 6
Words: 14,148
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23336140
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SoftBubblyVante/pseuds/SoftBubblyVante
Summary: A story in which a lonely boy suffered from an abusive family and school life just wanting an escape... and then he found one.~ started 10/10/18 ~~ discontinued ~
Relationships: Bangtan Boys Ensemble/Bangtan Boys Ensemble, Jeon Jungkook/Kim Taehyung | V
Comments: 2
Kudos: 2





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

  * For [My Best Friend](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=My+Best+Friend).



> For any questions please contact me on twitter at @SoftBubblyVante
> 
> Dedicated to my best friend marcie. I love you and I hope you’re resting well… I miss you so much. 
> 
> This is just the prologue. I hope you enjoy my story.

Narrative p.o.v

The boy wandered aimlessly around the old town he once lived in... passing by people he used to smile and greet at when times were tough, and all of the people who used to make him feel unwelcome in his own town. He would try and gain their attention but to his prevail he got no response from anybody. His hand passing through everyone he came into contact with... it seemed like everyone was blatantly ignoring him and his presence as if he was invisible...

"Excuse me!" He'd call out hoping someone would talk to him. This went on for days, then those days turned into weeks, weeks turned into months and then those months turned into years. He had no idea what year it was by now or what day it even was. He just knows it's been awhile since he's had any human interaction with himself... It took him some time to finally realize what was going on and once he'd finally understood what was happening he had a hard time accepting that this was his life as of now.

Sighing the boy shuffled over to a bench, sitting down putting his face into his hands. All his pent up frustrations weighing down on him until he finally broke for the second time ever since the day it happened. Letting the tears slowly pool up in his eyes before finally breaking and letting them fall down his rosy cheeks causing tear streaks to stain his already puffy face letting out loud frustrated cries. Loud painful sobs erupting from the boys mouth as he sat there, crying away all the pain he's ever felt and has been feeling ever since the day he was born.

The day all his pain had finally stopped. All his washed out memories of all the hurting he went through. All the times his alcoholic father had beat him senseless and broke him mentally and physically wearing him down till he was nothing. Littering his body with splotches in different shades and hues of dark reds, blacks and blues, purples, and greenish yellows. Breaking his bones and watching as the boy would cough and puke up blood wailing in agony praying for it to come to an end.

School life wasn't that far off from being different than his home life. School is meant to be a safe place for kids. A place where someone can go to for a day to escape whatever haunting secrets that are kept hidden behind closed doors at home or during their social and private lives. A place where someone can find themselves a little bit of peace to their minds. In Taehyung's case that wasn't what school provided him.

School was like his home away from home. He'd leave one hell just to go to another one where all his bullies would wait for him. Demanding that he'd do their school projects, homework's, etc. if they weren't done to their specific hard to achieve set dates they'd drag him behind the school and beat him for being late. Although even if he did have them done on time they'd still beat him just to release their own stress... calling him names such as worthless, ugly, fat, waste of space... etc. saying he should just kill himself because nobody would ever love him. Always telling him that not even his own mother wanted him seeing as how right after she gave birth she immediately abandoned him with his abusive alcoholic father.

He would constantly be kicked in his stomach, face, arms, head, legs, mouth... you name it, it's happened. Constantly having to hear degrading words about himself from people who had never even met him. He just wanted an escape... and outing. Something that could end his pain and suffering... he tried so many different things to help him cope with his living situations until he finally found his relief. The truth is the escape taehyung used isn't for the faint of heart... they say that nobody cares what you're feeling until you're dead. Maybe that's true maybe it's not. It really depends on who the person is and what they did during their time spent alive.

If we're being honest Taehyung was never living to begin with. No, he was just surviving. Living and surviving are two totally different things when used in the right context.

It's pathetic really how this was how his life had ended up turning out like. Constantly being beat on by his alcoholic father, by random strangers at his high school, people he knew, and even his teachers at times would embarrass him in class on purpose because he was always behind in his own school work and thought he was a delinquent for always coming to school so battered and bruised so they'd always pick on him. Nobody showed a single ounce of love, care, or affection towards him. Not even from the day he was born...

The poor boy didn't even realize that amidst all of the people passing by, a boy no older then 18 or 19 years old had stopped what he was doing and watched as taehyung was having a mental breakdown on a random bench. He was confused on why all these people who passed the boy who was crying and sobbing his heart out did nothing to ask him what was the matter. Watching as people didn't even spare him a glance as if he wasn't even there. Taking it upon himself he walked up to the crying boy and bent down to his eye level before tapping him on the shoulder causing the older boy to snap his head up in confusion.

"Excuse me... but do you mind if ask why you're crying..." the younger of the two had asked. The older completely in shock as to what was happening. Nobody had ever acknowledged him since that day. Nobody could hear him, see him, feel him, or pick up on his presence just acknowledging it as the wind blowing past them. Dazed and in shock he just stared wide-eyed at the boy in front of him. "Yo-you can see me?" He said awestruck.


	2. 1

Taehyung's p.o.v

It's funny really... how nobody cares about you until you die. I'd like to say that's true but in my case, it's not. I've been alone my whole life... I don't regret what I did because at least I don't have to suffer and feel pain anymore... I've never been perfect. I knew right from the day I was born. My 'father' had that ingrained into my head ever since I was 4 years old. Every night he would come home drunk off his ass and beat me till I was no longer a normal skin tone leaving me different shades of black blue and purple. He wouldn't stop until I wasn't able to move and coughing up blood and unable to breathe properly. My life in school was the same way. I'd get up from my father banging on my door to open it, he'd beat me and laugh about it, smash his beer bottle off of me, then make me get ready for school, then I'd get to school and suffer the same way I did at home.

I'd get pulled behind the school have a few people gang up on me and beat me the same way my father did that morning and the night before and then demand I give them their homework projects. Constantly hearing them tell me how pathetic I was, how I should kill myself because nobody would ever love a faggot like myself because I like men. How it's no wonder my mother left us, how having a gay son must have made her embarrassed to be in my presence. Always telling me that I was hideous and disgusting. They weren't wrong... I was disgusting and it's true how nobody would want to love me. I was always a burden to everyone. My family, classmates, teachers, even to random strangers whenever I'd walk past them and get strange looks from them. But I guess that's just how my life was meant to be. I had no real purpose to anyone. Just something they could step all over and show they had authority over someone weaker then they were.

I had no one to talk to in the end so I kept a journal of my life. I wrote down all the things that would happen to me and all the things that people would say to me... I stopped talking about how I felt because I knew nobody cared anyway. The only thing I ever really had in life was myself, but even then that wasn't enough to help me. I had nothing going for me. Maybe if I had a friend in my life my life could have had a happy ending... or at least just a little brighter in my dull life...

Being dead is sometimes a good thing though. I mean I can walk freely without being judged the first second someone looks at me. I don't feel the pain of being abused anymore. I don't know how long it's been since I've been able to just breath and let all my frustrations out. I know I'm a ghost... but I'm confused about why I can still walk around on earth. Maybe I have unfinished business maybe not. Who knows. I'm not even surprised anymore. Nothing really fazes me at this point. I've just learned to come to terms with the fact that I'll never be able to rest in peace.

I wandered around the city of Busan for a little bit before finally settling down on a park bench watching as people just walked past me not even sparing a glance. Something no different than how my life was like back when I was alive. Thinking about how my life was like brought tears to my eyes. I haven't cried since the day I took my life. I just kept it to myself and bottled my emotions up. "Why me... why did it have to be me whose life was so fucked up and shitty" I whimpered... I could already feel my tears threatening to fall down my face.

I never wanted to let anyone think I was weak even though in truth it was very obvious that I was. Feeling all my frustrations finally weighing down on me I broke. I cried in front of everyone even though they couldn't see me it still hurt watching as they all passed by me like I didn't exist. Like I didn't matter. That made me cry harder. My whole body was shaking as I cried. My hands covering my face feeling them soak up the tears coating my hands in salty tears. My cheeks had swelled up and while my tears left streaks down my face. Letting out heart-wrenching sobs. My knees were brought up to my chest and I put my face down into them wrapping my arms around my legs.

I could feel the people around me passing by me. I didn't even notice how someone was crouching in front of me until they tapped my shoulder and started speaking "Excuse me... but do you mind if I ask why you're crying..." the person asked. I was completely in shock as to what was happening. Nobody had ever acknowledged me since that day. Nobody could hear me, see me, feel me, or pick up on my presence. Everyone thought I was just the wind blowing past them or something.

Dazed and in shock, I just stared wide-eyed at the person in front of me. "Yo-you can see me?" I asked awestruck. "... um yeah?" The guy said. "I- how? I'm dead" I told him. My eyes wide at the fact that someone can actually see me. Wiping my tears away he just stood and looked at me strangely. "How can you be dead if I just touched your shoulder and can speak to you, " He said thinking he had won the argument. Sighing I got up and motioned him to follow me. "Where are you- we going?" He asked. "To my grave," I said. Not even realizing how creepy that must have sounded to him. He just laughed and shook his head at me. "Yeah sure. Okay lets go to your grave" he said putting emphasis on the word grave.

Sighing I just ignored him and motioned him to follow me. My grave wasn't even really a grave... just a stone slab on the ground in a cemetery in front of a big oak tree... nobody cared enough to give me a proper funeral either when I died. That's how sad my life was. They just bought me a cheap coffin and buried me in the ground and left. Nobody came to wish me a final farewell. Not even my old teachers... feeling myself getting worked up I quickly wiped my eyes and took a deep breath exhaling. "So what's your name?" I asked him "Jeon Jungkook, " he said. His name sounded familiar to me but I couldn't quite place where I had heard it from before "that's a nice name... mine is- was Kim Taehyung" I said. "Your name sounds oddly familiar..." he mumbled to himself. I didn't smile or anything from hearing that. I don't think I was supposed to either.

It was silent again for another fifteen minutes or so before the silence started making me uncomfortable. "Are you in high school?" I asked him. "Yeah I go to Big Hit High School, " He said. Hearing that high school name I froze in my spot... "why'd you stop walking?" He asked. "That... was my old high school, " I said shakily. "Old...?" He asked. "What year are you in?" I asked him. "I'm in my senior year..." he replied confused. "Oh... Never mind then" I told him quickly. Now I understand why his name was so familiar to me... he was a very popular freshman when I was a junior. I heard rumors about him when I was still alive about how he was always nice to everyone and how he was super popular for being insanely attractive.

So I guess it's been two years since I've died. I died two weeks before I finished my junior year which means he was gonna be a sophomore at the time. He probably only recognizes my name because of the rumors that went around about me at the school. Not a lot of people knew how I died... Once we finally got to the cemetery I led him down a path because my grave was farther away from everyone else's. "Why are we going down this path...? Isn't your 'grave' closer to the other ones over there?" He asked pointing to the nicer looking gravestones.

"No... my family never cared about me so I wasn't buried with them" I told him. He looked confused. "What do you mean your family didn't care about yo-" jungkook was interrupted by an elderly looking lady looking at him weirdly. "Young man, who are you talking too?" She said. She couldn't see me so it probably looks like jungkook is talking to himself. "I'm talking to my friend ma'am, " he told her confused. "Where? I only see you?" She said scrunching her eyebrows together. I was literally standing right next to him. "Ma'am he's standing right next to me..." he said frustrated. "Young man it's not nice to lie to elders, " she said irritated walking away not wanting to deal with his apparent lies he was telling her.

"Do you believe me now?" I asked him. "No, " he said being stubborn. I sighed at his reply. "Whatever cmon let's keep going. We still have another few minutes of walking before we're there" I told him. He nodded his head still skeptical of the whole thing. Once we finally reached where my body laid at rest beneath the big oak tree giving shade to my gravestone I read out loud what was written on it with my school photo. You could still see a dark purple bruise on my collar bones and a dark purple bruise on one of my eyes.

"Kim Taehyung  
December 30th, 1995 - March 19th 2013  
Age 17  
A loving son who passed  
away from a tragic death  
He had many friends and family  
who loved and cared for him  
He attended Big Hit High School  
May he Rest In Peace"

I scoffed at what was written on my gravestone and the choice picture they used for me. "Bullshit, " I said under my breath. Jungkook just looked at my stone and then at me. He opened his mouth to say something but I cut him off. "If you don't believe I'm actually dead then you can go ask people at your school. Or all the teachers that taught the junior class from two years ago. I'm sure they'd love to tell you all about me." I told him walking away leaving him dumbstruck. He started running to catch up with me. "Jungkook... just go home or something for the rest of the day. I want to be alone" I told him.

He nodded his head slowly and looked down. "But hyung how do I contact you if I want to hang out with you though, " he said. Huh... he wants to hang out with me...? Why? "Why do you want to hang out with a dead guy?" I asked him. "Hyung you're not dead. That lady was just delusional... if you were dead then how come I could I feel you when I tapped you earlier to get your attention and how come I can talk to you?" He said thinking he was right. "I don't know you must be special or something, " I told him.

He sighed and said whatever. Feeling bad I tried to make him feel better. Something nobody did for me... "If you really want to hang out with me... then... I'll just tell you where I spend most of my time. I'm normally at this playground on flag street" I said to him warily. He nodded "Okay I'll meet you there around 5 pm tomorrow" he smiled at me. Not believing he would show up I just nodded my head. "Hyung I have to go soon. I already skipped a few of my classes to come here. I don't want to be later to school then I already am if I don't start walking there now" he said. "Yeah yeah go to school kid. I'll see you tomorrow" I told him. With that being said he nodded and we started walking away.

I only walked a few steps before I was attacked in a bearhug from behind. "Keep fighting Hyung" he said before running off. Not processing what just happened I crouched down and put my head in my hands ”that... was my first hug someone's ever given me…” I said to myself feeling my tears start to fall before being enveloped in broken sobs leaving my mouth.


	3. 2

Jungkook's p.o.v

Does he really expect me to believe he's a ghost...? The thought of him actually being dead when I could literally see and feel him made me laugh. But it's whatever. If he wants to believe he's dead then, by all means, he can believe whatever he wants. Although I am curious about him a little bit. Like who just tells people they're dead? Not a sane person... I mean, he even had a gravestone made. Like what? Who even does that... but it's whatever.

Deciding I'd look him up online just to humor myself I went into the safari app on my phone and searched his name. Surprisingly there were a few articles that mentioned his name. Being lazy I just clicked on the first I saw that mentioned his name.

"Kim Taehyung dead at age 17"  
Kim Taehyung found dead in front of Big Hit High School. Police officials say he committed suicide by jumping off of the top of his high school building. Nobody knows why he committed suicide. His school staff and family refuse to give out details of his private and school life. Taehyung's body was found with multiple bodily injuries that were most likely from previous interactions with other people he was associated with..."

Deciding not to read the rest of that article I clicked onto a different one because this article didn't provide any photos to prove that this was the taehyung I had met today. Clicking on the second link I was brought to another news article.

"Big Hit High School student Kim Taehyung found dead in front of school courtyard by a school staff"

Investigators say Taehyung committed suicide by jumping off his high school building. His body was found littered in old and new bruises along with multiple scars on his arms legs and chest. Police officials believe he was a victim of abuse but because his family and school fail to provide any details about the young 17 year old we are unable to provide any further details about the boy. Aside from his suicide, some students have openly said that the young boy was harassed multiple times at school by his peers but because the school staff refuses to answer any questions we cannot confirm if what these students are saying is true..." 

What the fuck... scrolling down some more there was a photo of taehyung wearing the Big Hit High School school uniform.

The articles were dated to two years ago the day after he supposedly committed suicide. Putting my phone down next to me on my bed I started thinking about those articles I just read.

I'm actually thoroughly confused because both of the articles were written by real legit news channels... so he actually is dead then...? That would probably explain why the elderly lady from earlier asked me why I was talking to myself but if he's actually dead then I still don't understand how only I can see and feel him... maybe I could ask Jimin... he's a 95 liner as well so he might've known him...

Picking my phone back up I started to text Jimin.

To: Christian chim chim~ Hyung can you FaceTime me real quick I have to ask you about someone from your graduating class. 

Seen at 7:45 pm

From: Christian Chim chim~ yeah hold on. But why do you want to know about someone from my graduating class?

To: Christian Chim chim~ because it's important okay?

Seen at 7:48 pm

After about a minute I got an incoming FaceTime call from Jimin Hyung so I answered it immediately.

"Hi Hyung, " I said "hi kookie what's up?" He asked. "Did you know anyone named Kim Taehyung?" I asked. The minute I mentioned Taehyung's name Jimin's face drained of all its color he looked down immediately. "Yeah... I knew him... he had a hard life..." he said sadly. A hard life? What's he mean by that. "Why are you suddenly curious about him... the poor kid never caught a break from anyone. Let the dead rest in peace jungkook" he said. "What do you mean he's dead?" I asked. "You mean you honestly don't know? He committed suicide a couple years ago at the high school... jungkook why are you suddenly curious about him" he said confused.

His eyebrows scrunched together as he looked at me. "No reason... I just heard someone I knew mention him or something saying they were going to go visit him" I said immediately lying to him. "Who?" The way he said who sent shivers down my spine. He looked up at me through his front camera. I could see that his eyes had darkened and he looked really angry. How can someone go from sad to angry so quickly? "Don't worry about it just tell me a bit about him. All I know is that he's from your graduating class" I said not being totally honest.

"Fine don't tell me who said it. But jungkook you should know that Taehyung is dead. Whoever said they were going to visit him were probably going to go defile his gravestone. Everyone at school despised him. I never knew why because he was always so nice to everyone... people constantly tormented him and made his life at school a literal living hell. I remember walking down a hallway once and witnessed him get cut pretty deep with a pocket knife by some older student..." he said swallowing down his sadness. My eyes brows scrunched together at the thought of someone getting cut by another person in our school intentionally.

"Jungkook you don't understand how bad he had it... people literally beat him senselessly till the point where he would cough up blood and just randomly pass out from overexerting himself after he'd get beat on. What hurts the most is that so many people could have, I could have, stepped in and stopped it. But everyone was always too afraid to help him because we were all scared we'd suffer the same fate. Maybe if so-someone stepped in he would've still been alive breathing and eating w-with the rest of us..." he said trying to restrain himself from crying. That failed though because a few stray tears had slipped from his eyes and slid down his cheeks.

I could feel my chest tighten at what he was saying. I felt a pang of sadness clench at my heart and my mind was running with so many questions "H- Hyung... w- what did he go through d- during high school...?" I asked my lungs constricting myself from being able to breathe properly and my voice getting stuck in my throat. "Jungkook I don't know if you remember this or not but a couple years ago do you remember when the school was shut down for a few weeks because of some confidential reason they couldn't tell us about...?" He asked. Nodding my head he sighed and continued talking.

"The school was closed and shut down for a couple of weeks because the gym teacher found him surrounded in a pool of blood in the courtyard. He was already dead at the crime scene. He had been dead for at least 10 hours before someone finally found him. He jumped off the school roof. When the police brought him to the morgue and examined his body they found multiple self-inflicted wounds and wounds from other people littered all over his body along with sickeningly disgusting bruises the size of basketballs all over his ribs, stomach arms, and legs..." he said. His cold exterior now completely gone. He was crying quietly to himself.

I could feel my chest tightening at some of the things jimin was saying... "so his death was actually a confirmed thing... he's actually dead. Like buried in a cemetery..." I asked sadly... "yeah... his family treated him like shit too... his mother abandoned him the day he was born. His father was an abusive alcoholic piece of shit. He did more harm to that boy in one day than all of his high school bullies did in one week. His father nearly killed him a few times from what I could remember... taehyung wasn't living jungkook... he was just barely surviving. Smiling through his pain. He was always so selfless too. He never talked back, he always tried to help people when they needed it. He never cared enough to put himself first." He said. I could already feel my tears streaming down my face at this newfound information.

"So many people could've helped him... but we were all cowards. We were all too scared to do anything to help him. They say you never regret a choice until it's too late. Now we know just how true that statement actually is... A lot of us, myself included, feel like shit for always watching it happen to him never doing anything about it to help him. Maybe if at least one person helped him, or least smiled at him and asked him 'hey are you ok?' Or said 'it'll be alright I promise' or even told him 'hey I'm here for you if you need me' or even just gave the boy a fucking hug instead of beating on him he could still be alive right now... maybe if someone actually stopped and let him cry his pain away to them and just listened to him and asked him if he needed help he could still be here" he mumbled tears streaming down his face like waterfalls.

"Another thing about him that not many people knew about was that his father was an abusive alcoholic. He and I were neighbors so my family and I could always hear him screaming in pain begging for it to stop and for someone to help him. We always were able to hear all the things being thrown and smashed around in his house. We tried calling the police before but they said if we aren't actually witnessing it happening they can't do anything about it." He said.

"Jungkook... next time you hear someone talking about taehyung make sure you think of him as someone who was able to stay strong for as long as he could. He was never weak... he was just tired of feeling alone. They say that people who commit suicide or die young and leave us early are God's angels begging to go home because life is too hard for them and they miss the feeling of happiness... taehyung was an angel in disguise... a tortured soul who never got a chance to actually live his life happily. All he ever knew was pain, sadness, and isolation. Don't ever let anyone degrade his name if you hear someone talking about him around town or in school... people don't know shit about him besides the junior and senior classes from our graduating class and the one previous to them. Namjoon, Yoongi, Jin, Hobi hyung and I normally go and pay our respects to him around his birthday and death day by bringing his gravestone flowers... we were all bystanders who watched it happen to him never once helping him. This is our way of saying sorry to him... it's funny though. Nobody ever feels guilty until someone's life is taken away" he said softly.

By now I was full on sobbing with my hand over my mouth to suppress any sounds from escaping my mouth. How could people treat someone so badly... what had he done to deserve such a shitty life?

"Hyung... did he ever- did he ever try and get help... do you know if he did or not?" I asked finally regaining my voice but still crying. "Not that I know of. His father left town the day after Taehyung was confirmed dead. His house has been vacant since then and nobodies had the heart to go and clean it out. All his old stuff is still there. Nobody has the heart to step foot in there because nobody wants to see what resides there... they're all too afraid of what they might see, the police haven't even gone to look at what's there either because his father never gave them the permission to step foot in their property. Since he owned the house and didn't have to make any payments on it they couldn't get a search warrant for it either because that'd be an invasion of privacy. Even though the house is vacant his father still owns it because it was never put up for sale..." he said.

My heart was literally breaking at what I was being told. I moved my hand up to wipe my face to get rid of the stray tears that still lingered on my eyes and cheeks. Occasionally sniffling at the horrible things running through my mind about how bad taehyung's life must have been like. "Hyung... I'm gonna go this is too much for me to handle... I'm gonna lay down and try and get some sleep." I told him sniffling and breathing unsteadily. "Yeah alright. Goodnight kookie... I love you. Don't think too much about what I've been telling you. It'll only make you feel worse... but goodnight." He said. "Night hyung..." I said hanging up.

If he thinks I'm actually going to bed he's crazy... I'm going to snoop through Taehyung's house... or at least try too. When I looked at the time on my phone I noticed it was already 11:32 pm meaning I spent over three hours on the phone with jimin... getting up I threw on a thick hoodie a beanie and a pair of my timberlands. I grabbed my keys and left my house being careful not to wake up my sleeping parents and quickly left the house getting into my car and driving to jimin hyung's neighborhood.


	4. 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> From the rest of the chapters going forward it will stay in jungkook’s point of view

Jungkook's p.o.v

It took about 15 minutes for me to get into Jimin's neighborhood. Seeing Jimin's house I parked in his driveway seeing as he lives alone now that his parents moved out and found a house for themselves letting jimin keep this one for himself. Knowing that he wouldn't even care anyway if I parked my car there locking it. I looked around for any possible house that looked like it could have belonged to Taehyung and his father. Settling on the one that had extremely overgrown grass with beer cans and vodka bottles scattered across the lawn I walked up to the house. Staring at the house in front of me I braced myself for what I was about to be faced with and then continued my way up to the front porch.

I tried the front door first not wanting to make myself look suspicious if I just climbed into it through a window on the side of the disgustingly unkempt building. With my luck, the front door was literally left unlocked... probably because his father was a drunk and most likely never remembered to lock the door at all. Walking in I immediately recoiled and covered my mouth and nose from getting hit with a disgusting stench of alcohol drugs and cigarette stench and most likely dried blood. My eyes were tearing up by the stench of the building.

Looking around I could see disgusting splotches of all different colors of who knows what on the walls and floor... the dark red blotches most likely someone's blood, meaning it was probably taehyung's. Though I could visibly see large blood stains on the carpeted floors along with broken glass everywhere. The living room reeked of sweat, cigarette smoke, and alcohol. The floor and tables were covered in either empty or still somewhat filled beer cans. There were cigarette buds all over the floor and coffee tables. There was dirty lingerie and woman's clothing all over the floor that I'm guessing is most likely from disgusting prostitutes his father probably would bring home to have a quick fuck with. There were these huge gashes in the walls and the furniture was extremely worn out.

The thoughts of what could have possibly happened in that very room made my chest tighten and it hard for me to breath. My eyes stung from the salty tears I could feel threatening to fall. Wiping my eyes quickly I left the living room and went into the dining room that was across the hall from the room I was just in. I didn't think it could have gotten worse from the living room but I was wrong. The dining room had broken plates and bowls all over the floor. There was blood very visible all over the floor and edges of the dining room table. There was moldy food still left on plates probably from the night before Taehyung's dad skipped town and what looked like throw up all over the floor. There was also what looked like rat poop all over the floor as well...

I left the dining room not wanting to be in there any longer because if I was I'd have thrown up from the disgusting mess that was in there. Going into the kitchen I could see the stove still had dirty pots and pans left on it along with vodkas bottles scattered everywhere on the countertops. There was also some more blood stains on the walls and a small puddle of dark brown dried up blood on the floor. The sink was completely filled with dirty dishes overflowing the sink. There were a few dead rats on the floor and counter as well. Holding back from gagging I walked out of the kitchen and back down the hallway. Finally finding the staircase that led to the upstairs, I walked up it looking for any bedrooms.

Once I got to the top of the stairs I found a door immediately to my right. Walking into whatever or whose ever room it was. I noticed it was a bathroom. There were dirty clothes scattered everywhere. What really caught my attention was a dirty long sleeve white shirt or what used to be white. It was drenched in blood all over it along with a pair of pants that were also on the floor. The sink had mold in it and the bathroom mirror was shattered with bits of glass on the floor. The shower curtain was ripped apart and the toilet still had human feces in it.

Gagging at the smell I immediately left the bathroom and walked down the hall going into another room. I'm guessing this was his fathers' room because just as the kitchen and living room looked this room also had alcohol bottles scattered and littered all throughout the bedroom. The bed had, what I'm guessing was, cum stains all over it. Gagging at the bed as well I walked away from it making sure I didn't touch it because I had no idea what kind of disease I would get from making contact with it and just walked around the bedroom taking in the appearance. There was a shit ton of pills everywhere scattered along the dresser and a shit ton of dirty clothes all over the floor. There were huge holes in the wall as well with some blood stains on them. Maybe from his dad punching the wall... I don't see any reason for taehyung to ever step foot in here...

The house was literally covered in blood from top to bottom. It was as if a bunch of people was murdered here... but I knew that blood was most likely only taehyung's. I can't even imagine what it must have been like to live here and then have to go to school and deal with everyone's shit as well. I was about to leave the bedroom but another door caught my eye. Quickly walking over to it and yanking it open I was appalled by what was in it. The bedroom had a connected bathroom and all over the floor was vomit. Not even wanting to go in there for the better of my health I quickly shut the door and left the bedroom. I noticed across the hall there was only one room left which I'm guessing was taehyung's bedroom.

Quickly walking over to it I pulled the door open. The room was covered in trash, dirty clothes, and once again blood. There was blood literally everywhere in this house. The amount of abuse that must have happened here made me somewhat grateful that I grew up in a decent house with amazing parents. But then again it made me feel beyond terrible for taehyung. People don't know how good they have it until they're faced with something so completely opposite to what they're used to.

I can only imagine how he felt when he lived here. Not wanting to touch anything else anymore than I have I walked around the bedroom quietly taking in my surroundings. His bed was pushed into the far right corner of the bedroom with a dresser to the right of it pushed against the wall. The dresser has a very dirty and dingy looking lamp on it with a shattered light bulb. The bed was ripped apart and the mattress was hanging off the bed and all of the blankets were thrown all over his bedroom floor.

The bed sheets had stains and holes all over it and his pillows were literally ripped to shreds. The closet door was wide open and his clothes were all shoved into piles. Dirty worn out shoes were seen scattered across the floor and there was a very prominent hole in the wall. It was at, what I'm guessing was, the height of where taehyung's head would be. Meaning he probably had his face smashed into the wall... my heart ached for him.

Feeling the salty tears flowing down my face I walked over to his dresser. Every object in this house had a thick layer of dust on it. Meaning nobody's lived here for quite a while now. Opening his dresser drawers I found what looked like to be a few old pairs of shirts and pants still in somewhat decently good condition. Opening the last drawer I noticed a very large notebook with a lot of tattered and torn pages. Taking it out of the drawer I picked it up and was about to open it to see what was written in it but decided against it until I finished looking around the bedroom. I noticed on the floor there were multiple large red stains of what I'm assuming was his blood scattered ALL over.

Furiously wiping at my tears I turned and noticed a door to the left of his bed. I walked over to it thinking it could possibly be a bathroom. Guessing correctly he also had a connected bathroom in his bedroom. Taking a look around the bathroom I could actually feel my heartbreak. There was rusty blood covered razor blades in the sink... the actual sink itself was covered in a few small blotches of drops of blood. There was blood on the floor and bloody bandages in the trash can. Now I understand why the news article said self-inflicted wounds. They meant he self-harmed...

I also noticed on the sink there was a bottle with a written out label that said antidepressants... just from the look of his house it must have been literal hell to live here. His shower also had washed out blood stains in it... probably from trying to wash all the blood off that he would be covered in after being nearly beaten to death by his father... exhaling a shaky breath I didn't notice I was holding in, I quickly left the bathroom going back into his bedroom. I pushed his mattress back into how it should have been and sat against the side of the bed frame. Picking up the notebook I had found in his dresser I slowly opened the cover to the very first page. There were stains from what I'm assuming was tears and some of what looked like drops of blood on the paper and I started reading.

"January 21st, 2014

So my dad broke a vodka bottle over my head again today. He almost killed me again from the force of how hard the blow was... nothing new I guess. I want to act like everything's ok but I know it's not. Sometimes I think about reporting him to the police but I already know they won't do anything about it. They're all a bunch of corrupt assholes who don't actually care about anyone but themselves... it's honestly tiring having to deal with the abuse I take in every day. I want out. I want it all to just be over with already... I want this to just be some terrible joke and that I'll wake up and I'll be living an at least somewhat decent life... maybe then I can actually go to bed at night and not have to be scared that my father's going to come into my room again and plan to suffocate me and make me pass out due to lack of oxygen. He's done it before but that's nothing new. I ended up putting a deadbolt on my door a few months ago because of that very incident. But life isn't fair that way it seems... I need a break from the loneliness that is completely consuming me."

Covering my mouth, I had to suppress myself from choking back a sob. I just let the tears fall down my face silently. Flipping through a good few pages of the notebook I found a page that immediately made me stop flipping through the notebook. My eyes widened at what was written on it. There on the page was Park Jimin's name.

"December 12th, 2014

So today I bumped into one of my hyung's at school. Thinking he was one of the many guys who normally harass me I cowered away from him and instinctively covered my face with my arms in a ball on the floor repeatedly apologizing to him. He said it was okay and he wasn't going to do anything to me because it was just an accident saying he wasn't looking where he was going. He helped me up and helped me pick up my textbooks. He said he was sorry for scaring me and that I had no reason to be afraid of him. I could literally feel myself breaking at his words. I'm so used to people insulting me and beating on me that I found it hard to believe what he was saying. 

That's kind of sad right... that shouldn't be something someone is used to. I already knew who he was the minute I laid eyes on him because he was one of the popular kids in our grade. His name's Park Jimin... one of the only few people who was ever nice to me but never actually talked to me unless it was a head-on confrontation. Always one of the bystanders who watched people beat on me. It's okay though... I can understand why he would never step in... my bully is a professional fighter so stepping in would be fatal to his life. I would never wish what happens to me upon anyone else... my life has always been meaningless since the day I was born... if people beating on me makes them happy then go ahead... but people seem to forget that I can only take so much before I collapse. I'm only human and I bleed when I fall down. I started self-harming today. I did it because it'll help me die quicker. I didn't like it at first... it felt wrong... but then the pain slowly started to help ease the pain and frustrations I felt in my heart. 

I know I'll be alright one day. Someday... but just not today. I'm not one to hold a grudge either... I forgive a lot, probably way too quickly then I should. But I never forget what's said and done. Everything is a battle, every breath is a war, and I honestly don't think I'm winning anymore... sometimes death seems more inviting than life... but then again anything is better then what I have to live through daily..."

I was full on sobbing by the time I finished reading that. I could literally feel my heart breaking. I put my face in my hands and brought my knees up to my chest and rested my face and hands on my knees and just cried. I cried for all the times he must have felt so alone, how he must have felt like nobody cared about him. His life was so shitty... I'm so proud of my hyung... he stayed strong for so long... I definitely believe that he's dead now... but I don't understand how only I can see and hear him. Let alone actually feel him... that's so freaky and scary to think about.

After finally getting myself calmed down and somewhat collected I took a picture of the pages I just read that involved Jimin deciding I would show him them tomorrow then flipping all the way to the second to last dated page in the notebook.

"March 13th, 2015 

About a week ago my music teacher told us to write about how we were feeling inside... I finally finished it. It's called sirens... I'm going to turn it in tomorrow and hope that I get a good grade on it... I'll put some of the lyrics in here just in case it gets stolen or ripped up by someone at school... knowing that someone would actually do that to me... because let's face it. That kind of stuff always happens to me... at least four times a week. I don't know what I did to deserve that. I'm at my breaking point. I don't think I can hold on anymore... my life is so meaningless. 

Sometimes I wish I was never born. Sometimes I just want to crawl into a hole and die. At least then I can finally get some peace... one whole day of no beatings... no more being told how much of a disgrace I am for a day. No more being told my family probably doesn't love me... I don't need to be told to know it's true... my 'father' tells me all the time how much he hates me and wishes I would just kill myself already. No more feeling like utter shit about myself. No more starving myself to fit everyone's standards of perfection. No more staring into broken mirrors trying to smile and see the beauty within me even though I know it's not there. 

I guess I forgot to mention in my all my other letters... I don't eat and if I do it's once every like two weeks or so... sometimes three if my beatings aren't as bad because then I have a little bit more energy in me to keep myself going. If I eat anything more then that I feel even more disgusted with myself more then I usually do. I'm tired... I'm growing older and getting weaker every day. I'm drowning and they're stealing every breath I have left. I have no will power to continue on with life. Just getting up in the morning takes a lot of effort for me. It's a chore to me because why would I want to go to a place where I know I'm not welcome... 

I'm tired of crying myself to sleep at night wishing the pain would go away. I know it's never going to go away. There's nothing for me in this life. Everyone would be happy if I just died already... I was a mistake... a waste of space. So many other people would benefit if I died. There'd be more air for them to breathe... I know that sounds stupid but I'm just wasting oxygen... I see no reason for me to continue on with life. I'm not going anywhere. Nobody wants a broken, bruised, mentally and physically scarred person around. That's like dragging dead weight around for no reason. It's basically pointless... In my mind I died a long time ago... I just want to be free from this pain..."

Full on sobbing I flipped to the next page...

"March 14th, 2015

So I ended up giving my song to some girl... she 'forgot' hers at home... I didn't want her getting in trouble so I took the bad grade for her. The teacher punished me for not turning in my assignment telling me I was a dishonorable student... they're not wrong. I just shamelessly let people walk all over me whenever they want too... I'm such a pushover... hehe I just pity laughed at myself while writing that... apparently later on after the class ended the girl who I gave my song to recorded herself singing my song on YouTube and it wasn't even that bad. Her voice was so powerful... she sang it better than I probably could have... she didn't give me any credit though... which I kind of expected. I gave my song to a girl named Lisa... she's apparently trying to become an idol in a girl group of four girls... it's no wonder why she had a beautiful voice... 

Damn, I didn't even know I was crying. There are tears all over the paper... I'm okay though... I have to be... it's already 9 pm but I already know I'm not going to get any sleep tonight. My 'father', is on a major rampage downstairs at the moment flinging everything he can find that's in his way around the house. I can hear him stomping up the stairs... I really hope he just goes into his room and leaves me alone... I already fainted again in school today... the nurse said I had a concussion along with a sprained ankle. I don't know how much more my body is gonna be able to take before I just stop breathing... 

The nurse said she wasn't sure if there was anything else wrong with me because she's not a professional doctor and wouldn't be able to tell. She was horrified by all the bruises on my body. I knew she wanted to ask about them bu----

So my dad came in while I was still writing my thoughts down... I can barely move my arms now... they're so bruised you wouldn't be able to tell what my skin tone is... I feel so weak. It hurts even worse just trying to breathe... I coughed up so much blood by my door just now too. It's going to stain for sure but that's nothing new. My blood is stained all throughout this household and there are holes in the walls that have even been made my head being slammed into it... I swear it looks like some were murdered here...

But as I was saying I knew the nurse wanted to ask why I was so bruised everywhere and why it hurt to even breath... I didn't have the heart to tell her the truth so I just said I got hit by a car a few days ago and that it was nothing major... that I'd be okay... but I know that's a lie. I didn't want her being concerned about someone who's not going to be around much longer anyways... why would I make someone worry about me when I'm nothing special. I'm not important... there's nothing great about me. 

I'm so tired of this. I'm tired of everything. I'm officially giving up. I'm done. They win. You all win... you're going to get what you've wanted from me for all these years now. I hope you're happy. Congratulations... maybe now I can finally heal... I never really believed that god or whatever existed... but maybe there is someone up there who will treat me kindly... just the thought of that makes me look forward to a life where I can finally live peacefully... that sounds so nice right now... but anyways. The school board will be in for a surprise later in the morning... they never liked me. So that'll be such a hilarious surprise for them. I can't count how many times they told me I was useless to my face... maybe you can feel guilty about this for the rest of your lives or maybe not. You guys never liked me anyways... I've been on my own since the day I can remember...

I'm so tired of trying to act as nothing bothers me anymore. Did you guys enjoy hearing me scream and cry in pain while you beat me to the point where I'd pass out or cough up blood? Did you enjoy my cries of pain and agony? Did you enjoy watching me slowly become closed off? Watching me suffer slowly while you all laughed at my pain? I hope you all burn and rot in hell. You don't deserve a happy afterlife. So this is me ending my pain and suffering. This is what everyone wanted. I don't want to hear anyone saying 'that they loved me' while staring at my open casket because why couldn't you say it to me when I was alive? I also want my letters to be read for everyone to read. Even if it's long after I've passed away I want someone to read these. I want the whole school to feel the pain they inflicted on me. All the teachers that I had that treated me like shit. I just hope everyone's happy because I won't be coming back this time. I didn't fail life... life failed me." 

"So now you know..." I whipped my head around and I looked to where the voice came from seeing Taehyung standing in the doorway with his head resting on the door frame arms crossed over his chest. Putting the book down next to me I patted the spot on the other side of me for him to sit down. Pushing himself off the doorframe he came and sat with me. "Why did you come here..." he asked "and why are you reading that. Put it back" he said softly. "Taehyung... you know I can't do that..." I told him "...at least not after reading what you wrote in it" I said. "jungkook... don't worry about it... please. I just want to Rest In Peace... nobody cares about you until you're dead. Even then nobody came to my funeral. I didn't get a funeral like how other people did. They threw my body into one of the cheapest caskets they could find and buried me immediately. Nobodies going to care about what's in that book" he sighed.

"You don't know that..." I said "jungkook... trust me I do know. I most definitely do know what's going to happen. They're going to confiscate that book from you and you're going to get in major trouble." He said. "Not if I say I found it in the woods" I'm not going to listen to what he says. I'm going to avenge him and make all those pieces of shit teachers feel like shit. They're not going to get away with what they helped contribute to. "Taehyung I'm going to keep this book. I don't care what you say. You're already dead anyway so it's not like you can stop me... I'm sorry if that sounds mean but I'm going to make those teachers feel like utter shit. Normally when you die don't you go to heaven or something? So why aren't you there yet? You clearly have unfinished business and this could probably help you rest in peace. Don't you want your pain to finally end? Don't you want to be happy...?" I asked him softly.

He didn't say anything for a few moments. "Happiness and I were never meant to cross paths jungkook..." that broke my heart. Even in death, he isn't allowed to finally end his suffering. Getting angry I stood up and looked down at him. He had his knees up to his chest with his chin resting on them while his arms were wrapped around his legs. He looked up at me and showed me a weak smile. "You know... maybe if I had at least one friend during my time while I was still alive I wouldn't have always felt so lonely and maybe I'd still be here. One person makes a huge difference in a person's life..." he said quietly.

"Taehyung I promise I'll help you finally rest in peace... that's the least I can do, what happened to you should never happen to anyone else. Society failed you in so many ways and that was never your fault. You didn't do anything to make them be like that towards you" I told him. "Whatever you say jungkook... don't make promises if you can't keep them. Promises are meant to be broken" "I mean it Tae..." I said getting up about to leave but then stopping what I was doing and turning around quickly walking over to him and crouching down and giving him a hug. He tensed up for a while but then slowly wrapped his arms around me. "I promise hyung..." I said quietly. With that, I left the house and went home.


	5. 4

Jungkook's p.o.v

When I got home from looking around Taehyung's House I was left with a lot of questions running through my head. But one thing for sure is that I'm going to ask Jimin tomorrow if he had any classes with Taehyung... taking my clothes off I pulled on a pair of sweatpants since my clothes from earlier smelt disgusting just from walking into that house. Almost as if just being there made the smell linger all over my body.

I'm definitely showering in the morning... I said to myself. Getting into bed I plugged my phone into my phone charger shut my eyes going to sleep... or tried to. I kept tossing and turning in my bed. My eyes and body felt tired but mentally I was wide awake. This went on for a couple of hours before I decided I'd just get up and go for a walk. I grabbed the closest shirt to me and put it on. Not caring if it smelled bad. grabbed a random hoodie and put my Timberlands on. Grabbing my keys I left the house and started walking to the nearest playground. The cool air felt nice on my face whenever the wind blew against me.

Breathing in a deep long breath of the cool air I sighed in contentment. It felt nice being able to breath fresh air. It made me wonder if taehyung ever went out for walks to clear his head at night... I could always ask him if he did or not...

Finally, after walking for 15 minutes I found an elementary school that had a decent-sized playground. My body immediately gravitated to the swings. Sitting down I slowly went back and forth... feeling the swing rock back and forth, I slowly leaned my head on the chain supporting it and closed my eyes and took a long deep breath. When I finally opened my eyes I reached around in my pockets until I felt my headphones and pulled them out plugging them into my phone. I scrolled through my songs for a bit until a Justin Bieber song I liked started playing. Letting the music quietly play I sighed in contentment. Quiet nights like these are the types of things that help me feel relaxed. I started thinking of Taehyung again... like who his teachers might have been and stuff like that. I might have a yearbook with his class in it.

Getting up from sitting there for a while now, I started walking back home. Deep in the thoughts of what I'm going to do when or if I ever figure out how I'm going to help my hyung rest in peace... he honestly deserved better. Just thinking about it made my heart clench in pain. It makes me wonder why everyone hated him so much, like did they have any specific reasons or was it just because he was weaker and more vulnerable making him an easier target? honestly, I can't believe people can be so hateful... especially at our, or well, at my school... it's disgusting to think about. I always knew that my school wasn't the greatest of places to be, but I always thought it was somewhat a safe place...

Life is very cruel... it's like life is a monopoly game and you have to leave everything to the fate of chance and hope for the best. But why him of all people though... why was he the one who had to go through that kind of life... or better yet why does anyone have to live a life like that? I'll never understand how someone can do that to their own children... I don't know... I still can't wrap my head around this whole thing. 

I should look at some articles later and see if I can even try to figure out the reasons why people can do such horrible things to their children...

I ended up taking a long way home because I just needed the time to myself to think about the situation I so blindly threw myself into. 

I ended up wandering around aimlessly until I found myself under a large stone looking bridge. Carefully climbing down to get under it, I sat down and leaned my back against the stones. I shuffled my music again and the song 'I wouldn't mind' by he is we started playing. Sighing from exhaustion I started looking up reasons for why people abuse their children. I found a ton of articles on it. Only one of them caught my attention though. It went into depth about some of the reasons why people abuse their children. It talked about how some main reasons child abuse happens is because of either marital problems, substance abuse, and alcohol abuse. All of the named reasons applied to taehyung's case... 

After reading a few more articles I decided to go home and relax. The walk was quite long but I got there. Unlocking the front door I trudged my shoes off and slowly walked up the stairs to my bedroom. Peeling my clothes off I walked to my connected bathroom and turned the water on filling the tub up with hot water. Slowly getting in I relaxed in the tub and let the hot water ease my tense muscles. Unknowingly I started to doze off... deciding it was time to get out before I completely fall asleep in my bathtub I got out and drained the water. wrapping myself in my fluffy towel I quickly dried off and put on some boxers and a pair of sweatpants and went and laid in my bed. Once my head hit the softness of my pillow I was out like a light.

〜 time skip to the morning 〜 

Waking up to my alarm clock at seven in the morning is horrible... but I'm doing this for hyung. I promised I'd help him and I intend to do just that. I'm most likely just going to go to the school library I'm not even going to bother with going to my classes today. Skipping one day never hurt anyone... I put my school uniform on and went downstairs to make myself some breakfast before I left. I made myself some toast and a couple of pieces of bacon. I wonder if I should bring hyung flowers? He seems like the type of person who'd like carnations... I quickly finished my food and left. Locking the door to my house I started walking to the nearest florist shop. 

It took a while but I got there eventually. When I opened the door to the shop it made a dinging noise indicating someone had come in. There was an elderly looking woman sitting in a corner sipping on a mug probably filled with coffee or some other hot beverage and a few older people just walking around looking at the different variety of flower arrangements. I glanced around the shop looking for an employee to talk to but couldn't find anyone and gave up. 

I walked around the store for a bit until I found the carnations. I found some nice light pink colored ones that were set out as individual flowers. I grabbed about four of them and continued walking around the store. I also found some burgundy colored roses and some purple violets and put them together as an arrangement. Once I was done I finally found an employee. "excuse me... ma'am are you busy?" I asked her, she looked up at me and smiled. "Nope. I'm not busy do you want to be cashed out?" she asked. I simply nodded and gave her the flowers I had picked out. She frowned when she saw the choice of flowers I picked out. "you picked the flowers with some of the saddest and loveliest meanings, it's quite a contradiction... did you know that?" she said. 

I just looked at her confused "what do you mean?" I asked. "well... the light pink carnations have their own story and meaning. They're believed to represent the crucifixion of Christ, where they were said to have sprouted after having been watered with the tears of the Virgin Mary. The purple violets represent 'the giver's thoughts are occupied with love' about the recipient. The burgundy roses have many meanings but a common one they're associated with is unconscious beauty. They're normally seen at funerals as a way of symbolization for the dead since dead people are no longer awake, they rest in an eternal slumber but they also stand for the readiness of commitment..." she said. That's actually really sad... "I actually didn't know that..." I told her. 

"so who are you giving them to?" she asked me. I smiled weakly at her. "An old hyung who isn't around anymore" I don't think she understood what I meant because she looked confused so I decided to clear up the misunderstanding. "he passed away a few years ago," I told her. "oh... I'm so sorry for your loss" she said quietly and finished wrapping the flowers for me. "It's okay. I'd like to believe he's going to be in a better place soon... sometimes it feels like he isn't even gone" I told her. "if you don't mind me asking this but how old would your hyung be if he was still here?" she asked "he would be 19 turning 20 this year, he passed away when he was 17" I told her. Now that I think of it looking at the women more focused she looks like she'd be around my hyung's age. "Maybe you might have known him..?" I asked hopefully. "What's his name?" she asked me. "Kim Tae Hyung," I told her. Her face changed from curious to annoyed quicker than it takes for a freshman boy to orgasm the first time he has sex. "Tch. You're seriously wasting your time and money on that loser?" She said irritably. I narrowed my eyes at her and made a 'what the actual fuck is wrong with you' face at her.

"what's your problem? He never did anything to you. Even in death, he can't catch a damn break with you shit heads from school" I said pissed off "mind your manners child. Don't speak to me without respect-" "you want me to respect you?!" I retorted pissed cutting her off. "You didn't respect him at all when he was alive and now you're shitting on him in death. You're a fucking bully along with all the other people who did and still do talk shit about him. You want someone to respect you? Then fucking act like someone who deserves to be respected. You're everything that's wrong with this world. You're a low life scumbag who has nothing better to do besides ruin other people's lives. You're trash and you disgust me. Imagine if that was you in his place. How would you feel?" I seethed not caring how loud I was or if I was making a scene. I didn't even care to notice that people were already starting to begin with. "How dare you disrespect me like that!" she screamed angrily. "No, how dare you ruin another human being's life the way you did. I hope someone comes into your life and makes it a hell just as bad as you made my hyung's, and I'm telling your manager what you did. You deserve to be fired" I told her pissed off. Her face paled when I said that. "What don't want me to rat your disgusting ass out? That sucks because you should be in jail for physical and psychological harassment. Not even that you helped contribute to his suicide which in a way you could be charged with indirect manslaughter" and with that, I left the store throwing the correct amount of money on the counter at her.


	6. 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> listen to spring day piano version by DooPiano on youtube.

Taehyung's p.o.v

I don't know how long I've been sitting here in the disgusting place I used to call my home... but I know that it's been longer than I would have liked to have been here. This place makes me feel like I'm trapped in a never-ending nightmare. I must have been sitting in a daze for a while because when I finally glanced out my old bedroom window the sun was already rising meaning a new day was starting and another day of no social interaction... Honestly, I can't tell what feels worse anymore, living a life as someone's punching bag, not knowing if I'll be able to sleep at night because I'm in constant fear that someone is going to hurt me in my sleep, or not living a life at all where I'm constantly alone with just my thoughts and no one to talk to. I can see hear and feel things but they don't notice my presence at all...

I've realized something about death... once you die, language barriers aren't a problem anymore... when I died I could hear someone talking to me but even though it wasn't in Korean I could understand some of what the person was saying and the next thing I knew I was standing in front of my grave during my funeral. The only people who came were the people who were lowering me into the ground and maybe one or two of my old teachers... not even my family came... they most likely just gave up on me. I already know they didn't care about me, they didn't care about how my dad was abusive... they didn't care about my school life. Hell, the school didn't even care because they were also part of the problems.

Slowly bringing myself out of my thoughts I got up and walked out of my old bedroom and down the stairs walking out of the house that I once lived in. Honestly, I don't know why I ever bring myself to even come back to the disgusting mess. It only makes me feel worse about myself when I go back inside it. Once I got outside on the porch I sighed and sat down looking around the neighborhood. I could see the old lady who lived across the street sitting in her little rocking chair. She had a book in her hand and was sipping from a mug that she was holding with a blanket wrapped around her. My only regret with my decision was never saying my final goodbyes to her. She was always so kind to me... I never actually realized what my death might have done to her...

I was about to go over and talk to her but then I remembered the harsh reality of my decision. I'm dead... I'll never be able to talk to her again... Looking to my left I could see a kid from my old high school, he never really did do anything to hurt me but he didn't bother helping me either. I know it's not someone else's obligation to help someone who's in need but standing around just watching something you know is morally wrong is just as bad as participating in my eyes.

Standing up, I started walking off of my porch deciding that I would go into the music store that I had found a few years ago. I found the store by accident if I'm being honest. When I was younger and just needed a place to go when my father was going on a rampage from his anger I would run away and go into town and just hide in one of the nearby playgrounds. One of those nights I had run away was because I was convinced my father was actually going to kill me all because the school had called and said I was purposely skipping all my classes that day... what actually had happened was I had run into the people that used to bully me... I physically couldn't even move after they had their way with me so I just stayed where I was and tried to regain my strength. But anyways that night I had walked past this old run-down looking store that sold instruments, speakers, etc... because the store is so run down and dirty and empty nobody really ever wants to go into it anymore... but that night I saw someone.

I saw a man playing the piano and the song that he was playing was so calming it made me feel as if I could finally relax and let my guard down because of how peaceful it was. I felt like I was being protected by his music and because I was so into it I decided that I would go there every day and pretend to look around when he was there just so I could hear him play again... sadly he stopped showing up after that first time I heard him play. I still go there on a daily basis, his music was beautiful and I really wish that I'll get to hear him play again. His music gave me a happiness that I never want to forget...

As I was getting closer to town I could see couples walking together holding hands, I could see married couples and their children walking on the sidewalks with shopping bags most likely filled with clothes, I could see people walking their dogs and then there was the homeless guy who would talk to me every now and then when I felt like giving up sitting under the tree that I would go and climb to hide from people who wanted to do things to me. Looking around I could see the playground I used to go to when I would run off to hide from my dad... as I was getting close to the store I could feel myself starting to smile because I could hear the familiar sound of the same piano that I loved that first time that I had heard the stranger play. Sighing with a small smile on my face I began to walk closer and closer to the store until the building was in my line of vision.

When I walked through the front door I could still recognize all the new and old instruments... there was still that same old faint smell of coffee and then there's that same owner of the building sitting on a bar stool sipping from his coffee mug as well, and then there's that guy... one of the very few people to ever make me smile. I never got to know what his name was but his talent never went unnoticed by me. The way he played the piano was so intriguing to me... it was like he was taking all of his frustrations out whenever he played and turned them into a beautiful melody that everyone could love... It's crazy how amazing people can be when they're doing something they love, it's something that I wished that I could've done... sometimes I regret what I did and sometimes I don't but it was for the better in a way I guess... I don't have to feel like I don't belong anywhere anymore and I don't have to deal with what I went through anymore either. Now that I think about it... music is life and that's why we have heartbeats.

Walking towards the man sitting and playing the same familiar and beautiful melody that I fell in love with, I sat down on the same worn-out wooden bench that was placed in front of the piano and started to watch the unknown man taking in his features. He had beautiful dark brown hair and this adorable gummy smile. He was somewhat slender but still faintly muscular. I could tell that he was more on the shorter side too. He was breathtaking... just listening to him playing was very calming and I could feel myself starting to relax. Closing my eyes I started humming along and rocking my head back side to side... once it was over I opened and could see the few people that were in the store were all staring and smiling intently at the man who just played one of the most amazing melodies I could have ever heard. The room was silent for a few seconds before the shop owner started talking.

Turning my head to face the shop owner I began to listen to every word carefully "-and just as I remember... ever since you were young you were so infatuated with being a pianist. It's good to see you again yoongi, look at you... you made the whole shop go silent in awe with your talent." So that's his name... I could see him blush a faint shade of light pink and pull his sleeves down his arms a little bit bringing his hands up to hide his mouth and cover his face trying to hide his smile... that or his blush. I swear I could've heard myself laughing from how cute he was. Now that I think about it nobody can see me so it wouldn't hurt to just go and touch his face right...?

Getting up from where I was sitting I slowly started to walk towards him reaching my arm out. Once I was close enough to be standing directly in front of him I felt my breath hitch in my throat. I'm standing right in front of him looking right into his eyes but he can't see me... with a shaky breath, I retracted my hand and backed away from him suddenly feeling weird about wanting to touch his face. It just feels weird trying to touch someone when I already know the outcome of what would happen.

Sighing I decided to just leave the store and wander around the neighborhood. I wandered around for a while until I ended up walking and finding myself in front of my gravestone. I sighed for the nth time today and sat down leaning my back against my headstone and closed my eyes. Life is constantly full of ups and downs, you never really know what you'll get in the end. It's something that either makes or breaks you as a person.

"Hi, Hyung" I already know who it is so I didn't bother opening my eyes to see who it was. "hey kookie," I said. "You okay?" he asked. "To be honest... I don't know. One moment I'll be okay without a care in the world, then there are times where I wish I wasn't dead" I didn't look up while speaking to him, too scared to see the look on his face. My gaze was directed towards my hands while I fumbled around with my fingers. "You know hyung, I ran into a girl who went to school with you earlier. She works in the flower shop that I went to earlier when I went to buy flowers for your stone. She was a real piece of work" he said huffing.

"Oh..." is all I managed to say. "Hyung why won't you look at me?" he asked. "Because..." "Because of why..? Do you think I'm going to suddenly abandon you after talking to her?" he asked. "I mean... you wouldn't be the first to do that after I make a new friend and someone who doesn't like me talks to people like her..." I said softly. "You know hyung... you need to have more faith in me" he chuckled. "Anyways... I got you these" he said. "Got me what?" I asked. "Well you gotta look at me if you want to know" he laughed softly. Finally tearing my gaze away from my hands I turned towards where he was standing over me. In his hands was a very beautiful bouquet of flowers wrapped in a very pretty lilac tissue paper. "Those are really pretty kookie..." I said quietly. "I figured you'd like them. They're very eye-catching... just like you" he said causing me to crack a small smile. "There we go now we're getting somewhere. You know hyung, you should smile more often. Yours is very unique. Now, why don't you tell me why you looked so sad earlier" I just nodded and started explaining what was bothering me.


End file.
